GOAL DEEP DIVE: Cecily’s Annual “Aparigraha” Goal
Every year Cecily sets a goal to give away (or otherwise purge) a lump sum of personal possessions. This is inspired by the philosophical principle of non-attachment, or aparigraha (in Sanskrit).
If you’re anything like me, you hold onto things. When it comes to “I could use this for…” I am the worst offender. I loathe waste, and so I frequently wind up holding onto possessions because I don’t want it to wind up in a landfill. Unfortunately, my good intentions to keep refuse out of landfills usually winds up adding stress to my life due to the accumulation of excess. Soon enough my drawers, closets, and shelves begin to resemble the inner state of my heart: cluttered and stressed. (Can I get an amen??)
Many philosophical traditions extol the virtues of “non-attachment.” The yoga tradition uses the term A•PA•RI•GRA•HA (अपरिग्रह): non-grasping: the practice of holding all things in life with an open hand. Desiring only what is important.
I first learned the word and the concept during my yoga teacher training. I immediately knew it was something I need to work on. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I tend to passively accumulate. Things arrive into my life and I just find space for them. Then I become attached, and in the words of Chuck Palahniuk, “The things you own end up owning you.” I had to do something.
A few years ago in 2016 I set a goal to get rid of 100 items in the year.
I gave myself a year because I wanted to chip away at (what I thought was) a large sum of possessions. I wanted to push myself, not stress myself with the impulse toward letting go of things. Week after week, month after month, my aparigraha goal kept me in a constant mindset of “letting go.” Every time I opened a drawer or a cabinet, I was always asking the question, what could I let go of in here. By the end of the year I had far exceeded the 100 items goal and I was somewhere in the two hundreds. It felt amazing.
The next year (2017) I set a goal to get rid of 300 items in the year.
That was a little more challenging. I learned that 300 items can quickly get out of reach if I don’t diligently maintain a mindset of letting go. I’ll be honest, I wound up doing a major clean out in early December to catch up on the 100 or so items I had fallen behind.
The following year I decided to take a break from aparigraha goals… that was a bad idea.
It’s amazing to me how my underlying habits and tendencies don’t disappear just because I was hitting my goals. In 2018 I took a break from setting an aparigraha goal and sure enough, the excess started accumulating again. Like weeds. I learned a valuable lesson: goal setting didn’t tame the tiger, it just put it in a cage. Beneath all the diligent purging and minimalist behavior, there was still a hoarder inside me, just waiting for her chance to start collecting treasures again.
I realized that I liked the person I was better when I was regularly purging, donating, and giving my stuff away. I loved handing over a bag full of high quality lululemon gear to a college student who would never otherwise afford such a fine sweat wardrobe. I wanted to always be this person loved people and experiences, not things.
And so…
Now I set an aparigraha goal every year. This year (2020) the goal is to give away 300 items.
At the moment I’m at 98 items. So I guess it’s time to go rifle through my shorts drawer…
