My Goal-Setting Story
by Cecily Breeding
TEN
YEARS
AGO
In 2011, one year out of college and uncertain of what I wanted to do with my life, I was all too familiar with the frustration that comes with lack of clarity. Then the assistant manager at my workplace taught me how to set goals for the first time, and everything changed.
THE FIRST GOAL I SET WAS TO RUN A 10K (6.2 MILE) RACE.
It felt great (and a little bit scary) to commit to something, train for it, tell my friends and coworkers about it, and accomplish it. Something as simple as a running event was opening my eyes to the possibilities of goal setting.
After that first 10k,
I SET ANOTHER GOAL: RUN A 10k EVERY MONTH OF 2012.
This required even more commitment. I had to stay in running shape, research and plan my work and social schedule around races, and save $40+ to pay for my entry fee every month. As the year came to a close, one of my running friends (community is key!) laid down a challenge to me: sign up for a marathon. I immediately laughed it off: I may run for an hour on the weekends, but I'm not about to give up every Saturday for the next four months to train for 26.2 miles of pure suffering. But he was persistent. And I was up for the challenge.
MY YEAR OF 10k RACES HAD TAUGHT ME HOW TO BREAK BIG TASKS INTO SMALLER PARTS. I COULD APPROACH RUNNING A MARATHON THE SAME WAY.
So I paid the hefty registration fee and looked up a four month training plan. I learned how to carry water and snacks on the long runs to maintain my energy stores. I asked around and found a few other people who were also training for the same marathon, and I committed to the same long run schedule. Week after week, Saturday after Saturday, I ran farther and longer than I'd ever run in my life, and on March 17, 2013, I ran the LA Marathon. I barely slept the night before, and it took me almost 5 hours, and at one point I got passed by a man dressed up as Batman pushing a stroller. But I finished.
Running my first marathon taught me a valuable lesson:
THE VALUE OF GOAL SETTING IS NOT FOUND IN THE GOAL ITSELF. THE VALUE OF GOAL SETTING IS IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING THE KIND OF PERSON WHO SETS AND WORKS TOWARD GOALS.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE GOAL. IT'S ABOUT WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.
At the same time as the year of 10k races, I was working on another goal:
CALL A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER EVERY WEEK OF 2012.
This goal had a personal reason behind it: I was newly married, living in Los Angeles, hundreds of miles from my nearest family member. I was feeling a little lonely and disconnected. So I set the goal to call a friend or family member every week of the year. To be honest, I called my mom a lot. But not one single call was wasted time. And by the end of the year, I was proud of the time I had invested in maintaining my long distance relationships.
My year of phone calls taught me another important lesson:
GOAL SETTING IS A METHOD OF CULTIVATING VALUES THAT ARE OTHERWISE HARD TO MEASURE.
I wanted to have closer relationships, but it doesn't work to write "have closer relationships" on the goals board. What do closer relationships look like? How will I know when it's done? A goal like that isn't clear or measurable. My year of phone calls taught me that if I want to cultivate a hard-to-measure value in my life, I should work on actions and habits that are measurable and observable.
FAST-FORWARD
TEN YEARS
After ten years of practice and improvement, Values, Vision, and Goals is a goal-setting plan that is easy for anyone to grasp and implement. From first-timers to seasoned goal-setters, everyone will gain new insight and tools to identify and work toward the things they value most in life. Leading individuals and groups through this curriculum and watching the lightbulbs go on is one of my greatest joys.
I have spent the last ten years learning new concepts and exercises that make my goal setting practice more effective and meaningful. As I regularly revisited my goals, I developed the exercises into worksheets. The more I shared about my goals, the more people asked me about them. Soon my friends and neighbors were asking me to lead goal setting sessions in their homes, workplaces, and schools, and the Values, Vision, and Goals course was born.
